Internet dating ettique

It is easy, given the anonymity of the Internet, to forget that behind the dating profile and emails is a real person with feelings.In all your interactions on dating websites, act with all the good manners that you would display in person---so that you can maximize your chances of actually meeting face-to-face.It’s the ones who employ actual manners, as we learned them growing up, who make us feel the worst about ourselves.I see it, I recognize the truth in it, and the part of me who was raised to be a courteous Southern boy who respected the feelings of others is never going to be quite okay with the idea that “rudeness” is the nicest thing I can do for another person.I also remember sending notes to women I found interesting and getting absolutely no reply at all. I may not even notice that whomever she was didn’t reply.

You aren't under any obligation to divulge your real name, address, phone number or any other personal information until you are sure the other person is a reasonable human being and not, say, a potential stalker.

None of us likes to be rejected, and if we have any empathy about us at all we’re uncomfortable inflicting pain and/or embarrassment on someone – especially since that person’s only crime is thinking we’re kinda neat. When I first signed up for back in 2010 I didn’t know the rules. It turns out that I much prefer being ignored to being acknowledged in cases of rejection.

I remember feeling obliged, when I got a message from a woman who didn’t interest me, to try and craft a nice reply that didn’t make her feel bad about herself. If there’s no contact, it’s harder to take it personally.

And yet, here I am, convinced beyond just about any doubt that what we’d call rudeness in our face to face dealings is a far kinder way of behaving in the online world.

It’s cleaner, it’s less awkward, and as counter-intuitive as it may seem, ignoring people spares their feelings.

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