or did they just take a last-minute trip across the world to a small island where there’s no cell service?! I used to be tempted to ghost and not tell someone I just wasn’t into them (it’s easy, right?!), but my therapist would say, “Being honest with someone and giving them a direct response will help you grow as a person — and neither of you will be kept guessing.” True. “Not, ‘I don’t think I can see you again,’ but ‘I can’t see you again.’”Personally, I think the best way to not ghost on someone is when it happens to you… An old Grey’s Anatomy episode, from one of the first seasons, had a wonderful theme about how giving someone hope is the worst. (Yes, I got dating advice from a TV show and have used it all these years! ) “Hope” is somewhat synonymous to ghosting, since by not ending things with someone via a version of “Thanks, but no thanks,” you’re keeping their hopes up. I asked Bustle readers — and some therapists and relationship experts — for their input on the topic.If the person asks for a reason, you can just say you didn’t feel a connection. (It’s just your opinion, after all.)Almost anything is better than nothing.
"I was single for 50 years before finally getting married for the first time last May (in 2014) at the age of 51. I've had guys just disappear on me, without a reason, and it sucks.
It's never easy saying goodbye or "no thanks," but there are ways of doing it that can spare someone their feelings and engender good will at the same time.
The best way to opt out is to be honest and say, "I think you're great, but I'm not sure we're a match.
Ghosting betrays a certain kind of decency we owe one another — it signals to a person that they aren't worthy of acknowledgment. I'm looking for someone a little older and who shares my hobbies. I wish you the best of luck and happiness."If the person sees that as an invitation to continue the conversation, you then have permission to ignore or shut it down: "Please stop texting me." If I had to choose a response I wished I received, it would have the same characteristics as the one I advised to give above — succinct, honest and polite.
No matter how poorly the date went, you should simply reply that you're not interested in seeing the person again. It's not so much that I desire a particular response, it's that I want a response. I think ghosting’s more work than just sending a quick text that you had a good time, but have decided: to go out with someone else again/that you clicked better with someone else/that you’re not ready to date right now (still getting over your ex)/whatever the case may be.